BLOG.jpg

John DeMato Blog

Hi! I'm John. In my blog, I share insights that help Speakers and Expert-based Business Owners create an emotional connection with their audiences through persuasive visual storytelling.

Bad password-not for the reasons you think!

 

When you change your words..

 
 

...you change your world

 

Until very recently, I was the guy who used the same password for every single online account…

That is, until the pandemic came when I was barraged with a sea of attacks and had to change bank accounts, cards, the works. 

Live and learn, right?

But, this article isn’t about the importance of unique passwords, and more about the one password that I used everywhere. 

And that password, for over a decade, was LOSER.

Ugh, writing that here just sent a shockwave of sadness.

Be it as it may, when I think about all of the words and phrases I could’ve chosen, I realize why I landed on that one and stuck with it for so long.

It’s because at that time in my life, I felt like a loser. 

I was overweight, awkward, teased mercilessly, angry and resentful of what I was doing with my life. 

Long story short, I was in a bad place mentally and emotionally.

And my password was what I thought to be an honest reflection of my outlook.

But at the time, I thought nothing of it. I figured, hey, it’s just a password, who cares, right? It’s not like I’m broadcasting this to the entire world - it’s a secret.

Eventually, and after some intense therapy, I realized that this password was not simply a code to get into my digital accounts. 

It represented and reinforced all of the negative self-talk that I engaged for decades, and it served me in all of the wrong ways.

After that discovery, I changed my one-size-fits-all password to one that included numbers and parts of my name. 

While my password epiphany wasn’t a game-changing shift with how I felt about myself, it was the start of rebuilding my self-confidence and self-worth.

You see, after my time spent in therapy, I then went on to participate in an applied positive psychology course and learned more deeply about the power of the words we use when we talk to ourselves and others. 

And that knowledge and insight has been brilliantly summed up in one phrase coined by my friend and colleague, Phil Jones.

When you change your words, you change your world.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a sizable shift in how I talk to myself. 

Have I completely eliminated the way I used to shit on myself every time something doesn’t go right? No, I’m still a living, breathing human being, so those moments still occur.

But, they happen far less frequently, and when they do bubble up, they’re squashed far more quickly by challenging these notions right on the spot.

  • Is it true?

  • What evidence do I have to support this claim?

  • Is this thought taking my attention away from the present moment?

As opposed to days when the “loser” password reigned supreme, I no longer indulge these negative thoughts for the sake of self-loathing. I shut them down because they simply don’t serve me in the moment. Or ever, really. 

And if they don’t serve you, they gotta go, folks! 

The moment you entertain one, simple negative statement in your mind, that could open up a rabbit hole of toxic thoughts and emotions that can derail you for hours, if not days.

I invite you to tune deeply into your own self-talk and determine whether or not you need to re-evaluate the conversations and words you share with yourself. 

Your emotional state and sanity will thank you for it later :) 

PS - If you found this article helpful, I invite you to hit the SHARE BUTTON at the bottom of this post and allow your community to have a read - thank you in advance :)