Stability over all else
"Stability" has been drilled in my head my whole life.
It took many years to reframe my concept of stability.
If my mother could see me now, she’s probably be freaking out over the decision I made to become an entrepreneur.
This, by far, was the last career choice she’d ever want me to pursue.
You see, growing up in Queens, NY as a child of the 80’s, we were taught to strive for stability - a full-time job with a consistent check, health insurance, the whole thing.
Risk was to be avoided at all costs - in fact, don’t even think about it!
Besides, what the hell is an entrepreneur, anyway?
In my family, everyone had a job where they worked for someone else, so, that’s all I was exposed to and had no idea there were any other options available to me.
This was my life for over 30 years, and I was good at following the lessons that I was taught from a very early age.
I followed them to a T.
And then, one day, your mom dies.
All of a sudden, everything you once thought and believed has been turned on its head and you begin to re-evaluate everything you’ve ever thought, including the lessons that she taught me.
Despite having a stable job, benefits, and all the other shit I was taught to value, I was pretty damn miserable with where I was and what I was doing with my life.
I felt there was more to life.
As I watched her deteriorate over the course of a couple months, my mind wandered to think about how I would react if I were in her position.
It became an overwhelming experience that often ended with me shaking my head at the growing list of regrets that I would have.
Regrets that involved both my personal and professional life, leaving so much potential on the table, never to be used.
Up until that point in my life, I had never cared to spend much time thinking about regret. I was too involved in moving swiftly with the momentum of my day-to-day life that I never gave myself time to check in with myself and really see how I was feeling.
Within 8 months of her death, I took the leap and bet on myself by quitting my job and starting my own thing.
I’d love to say that when I did so, I was feeling exhilarated and ready to tackle on the world, but, the truth is is that I was fucking scared out of my mind.
Panic attacks. Freaking out at 3am in my bed. Sleepless nights. All that fun shit.
Although I was completely unfocused and unsure of what to do, never did I regret my decision to take the risk.
As time wore on, I began to develop something that isn’t possible when you live in a bubble of comfort and safety:
Resiliency and I have become besties these days, because without it, I’d still be freaking out on a Defcon 5 level most days of the week.
But, I would’ve never known about this had I stuck with the stability life model.
Now, I know that many people, including myself, post a lot of cutsey, inspirational passages and quotes that reinforce living outside your comfort zone and run towards the risk in your life because that’s where growth is.
The reality is is that none of these posts on their own will spring someone into action, because moving from a life of predictability to the unknown is not a decision that’s made this simply.
So, why do I even bother posting them?
Because they serve as powerful reminders for those who have made the conscious decision to live outside their safe bubbles that what they’re doing is what’s not only best for them, but for those they serve.
Those little reminders go a long way, let me tell you, :)
Let’s turn the attention to you…
What was the spark in your life that lead you down your current path? Did you leave a stable lifestyle? Or, have you had this burning passion to pursue your dreams, disconnected from the Matrix at an early age?
PS - For those of you who aren’t in the know, I mail out these blogs 3x a week, and lemme tell you, they’re a real party, so, if you’d like to get in on this, sign up for it here and I’ll throw in a free gift for you...because I care, :)