John DeMato - NYC Branded Lifestyle Portrait Photographer
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NYC Branded Lifestyle Photographer - Blog

NYC Branded Lifestyle Portrait Photography Blog | Hi, I'm John DeMato, and I collaborate with thought leaders to create powerful, purposeful and authentic images. This is my blog where I talk all about the magic behind the portraits we create.

Avoiding social feeds as if I owed them money

 

Raise your hand if you ever avoided looking at your feeds because you were resentful of other people's success…

 

Okay, I'll start…

 

Just thinking about this time in my life is a brutal reminder to the negative mindset that I carried around for the vast majority of my life…

But I feel it’s important to talk about, especially if someone out there right now is going through this particular challenge

For many years, I was in a bad place - I’m not talking about having a lull in your business, bad place - I’m talking, “I have no clue who I am or what I’m doing with my life,” bad place.

My resentment level was unbelievably high towards anyone who was in a good place and doing good things with their lives.

I admit, I had a toxic outlook on the world, and the way I viewed all the relationships in my life. I was in a dark hole, and not only did I not know how to get out of this bad spot, I didn’t even realize how bad it was because it was all in my head.

I didn’t talk to people about how I was feeling, so the resentment, anger, frustration and overall confusion felt all-too-normal.

That’s why I would avoid skimming my social media feeds as if I owed them money.

Even though I understand on a conscious level that social media is a well-curated look into people’s lives that omits a lot of the struggle and challenge that they experience daily, my rational brain was overpowered by my impulsive, monkey brain - all I saw was that everyone else was doing better than me.

And that added fuel to the fire.

To make matters worse, many of these people were my actual friends and colleagues, which meant that I placed myself in a shitty position of being jealous of those that were in my life, which caused numerous rifts between those I respect, admire and love.

I remember all the sarcastically negative responses I would chirp out loud every time I saw someone sharing a happy message or win they achieved at work or in their business.

I’d poo-poo the shit out of it aloud in my apartment.

Ugh, it was a horrible, horrible place and I’m extremely grateful for those who made me aware of this toxicity and, ultimately, pointed me in the right direction.

Fortunately, through years of personal development, I now see this all from a much healthier context. The jealousy and resentment has been replaced with a positive and proactive mindset, cheering everyone else on and using that as fuel for me to get my ass in gear.

The best part is that sinking feeling of being afraid to scroll further and run into something that I would allow to ruin my day is now gone - forever!

I also have learned to put on blinders when I am in need of deep focus to work on my own stuff.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times - being a business owner FORCES you to be a better person - or, you will be OUT OF BUSINESS if you don’t adapt and grow.

In addition, that toxic mindset repels, not attracts the types of people - colleagues, clients, mentors, etc. - that will motivate you to progress along your path.

How about you? Can you relate to this story?


PS - For those of you who aren’t in the know, I mail out these blogs 3x a week, and lemme tell you, they’re a real party, so, if you’d like to get in on this, sign up for it here and I’ll throw in a free gift for you, because I care, :)